LIFE LATELY

I live in my head. If you ask me what I am thinking about at any given moment, it’s probably not that given moment. Over and over again I remember getting in trouble when I was little for not paying attention. Even as an adult, this character flaw got me into trouble, ex: I left my car running for a multiple-hour boat tour around Charleston harbor. …Oops.

This trait isn’t consistent in all areas of life: for example, house decor, outfit details, and hosting scenarios… in all of these categories I am painfully aware of every detail—and in search of perfection. In other words, I’m a visionary. When it comes to setting a scene, curating a look, or creating a ‘vibe’, I am 100% invested in every aspect to make my desired outcome come to life.

This presents an interesting challenge as a mother of young children. In case you’ve never spent an hour with a toddler before, I’ll inform you that they require WILD amounts of attention. Like, four FBI teams’ worth. Left to her own devices, Monica would not only destroy her own environment—she would also be the source of her own demise. Babies are similar. They may not be able to cause as much damage, but they can certainly hurt themselves. Ex: Henry’s favorite pastime is to turn on the tub and then fall in head first.

OK—I think you get my point here. Living in your head + babies = death and destruction. So many times I beat myself up because I lost sight of Monica while talking to someone at a party. Or because I didn’t close the pantry door correctly so Monica spilled all our corn flour on the floor. Or because I forgot the snacks or the water on an outing, etc., etc. With little ones, there are SO MANY things that you have to think about. So many ways they can hurt themselves or their surroundings.

It took me a while to realize that my visionary personality makes this stage of life even harder than it is for those (like my sister) who are naturally and blessedly inclined to be boots-on-the-ground, no funny business, 100% practical. To make matters worse, you know who doesn’t care about vibes, looks, or scenes? Babies and toddlers. So many times I get dressed in the morning only to switch outfits halfway through the day because someone got something unsavory on me. Monica really tested my mental health by taking a Sharpie to my newly upholstered living room chair.

My visionary personality also makes paying 100% attention to what is going on in front of me completely exhausting. So on top of the ‘normal’ amount of tired that comes from having little ones, I am even more mentally drained than someone who is naturally more practical-minded.

This realization that my visionary tendencies are somewhat of a disadvantage during this phase of life helped me see that I’m not just a ‘bad mom.’ Rather, my strengths aren’t fully aligned with little kids. The good news is #1 these practical skills are learnable, and #2, I can lean into my strengths and inspire women to wear beautiful clothes, have lovely homes, and enjoy hospitality—even in a season where it extra takes hard work.

Inspo

I am a big fan of Fr Damian Ference. He is a priest in Ohio I met years ago and a recent author of a book on Flannery O’Connor (another fave!). I listened to his interview on Pints with Aquinas and found their debate on staying plugged into the culture worth a listen (& a ponder).

Pretty things

I have been enjoying this iced coffee mug so much this summer. Every afternoon, I froth some almond milk, add some ice, and then pour coffee for an afternoon pick-me-up. Sometimes I’ll even add some maple syrup or protein powder! Yum.

In camaraderie,

Miranda Kate