Life Lately

Sometime between Stephen starting terminal leave back in March and his return to work again in June, being a SAHM mom got 10x harder.

I knew it was going to be a tough transition: having a second pair of hands 24/7 and then not having one 80% of the time. The truth is there have been angry outbursts followed by tears almost daily since Stephen went back to work. The combination of riding solo again + a new environment tipped my fragile equilibrium into stress overload.

The hardest part of all of it has been feeling like a failure. My ambitions of having a potty-trained toddler, a clean house, and a deep prayer life without losing my mind have not been successful. Over and over again, the question that I keep coming back to is: why is this so hard?

Is it because I’m doing things wrong? Are my standards too high? Am I too weak? Should I be doing more? Am I too selfish?

I also can’t help but wonder: is it supposed to be this hard?

It is hard to understand why something that is supposed to be so natural feels like climbing Mount Everest on crutches.

I don’t know the answer. But instead of going through all the potential reasons why I am not meeting my own standards, I’ve decided to admit defeat.

This doesn’t mean I will wallow in self-pity and give up (although there have been a few animated pity parties). It just means admitting that what I am doing isn’t working. Maybe I need help. Maybe I need to change what I consider to be a success. What I do know is this: I don’t want to be a grumpy mom.

Everyone has bad days and I understand occasional outbursts are to be expected. However, I really don’t think every day should include a mental breakdown of cosmic proportions. So I’m leaning into failure and searching for another way. It’s how we learn.

Inspiration

At Home with Sally (podcast):
I’ve really loved listening to At Home with Sally. She is such a joyful, comforting soul. It’s like chicken noodle soup in a podcast.

Pretty things

The Paris Market home goods and decor:
I recently got to go back to Savannah for a bachelorette party. If you ever get to go I highly recommend hitting up The Paris Market. It is eye candy galore and I bought some beautiful Marian jewelry that will make the sweetest heirlooms. They also have a store in Bluffton, SC or you can check them out online.

Liturgical Living

July is dedicated to the precious blood of Jesus! Here is a cool workout that meditates on the Chaplet that goes with this devotion.

In camaraderie,

Miranda Kate