An Argument for Authentic Self-Care

When I lived in Latin America I remember using this face Nivea face cream that said on the top, “La belleza es cuidado,” which translates to: “Beauty is care.”

I was around 11 when I came across this product, as you can tell the tagline stuck with me in a big way.

Being beautiful is something that we women tend to preoccupy ourselves with at least at some level. It is something that can easily become the vice of vanity when we don’t have our priorities figured out. Unfortunately, misunderstandings of beauty (often propagated by mainstream media/the culture) have led many a woman to a sad and lonely place. Eating disorders, shopping addictions, low self-esteem, and even self-hatred can all arise as a result of a superficial or incomplete understanding of beauty.

I have found myself over the years feeling the pain of this as I wrestled with my desire to be beautiful which I sometimes felt was unattainable. As a new mom, this struggle arose again in a whole new way as I navigated body image during pregnancy, post-partum, etc.

I do believe that women reveal beauty to the world—through our hearts, minds, and bodies. I don’t think that means we all must be 5’10 and have flawless skin. I also believe that there is a whole lot of truth to the words: beauty is care.

Because we are called to reveal beauty, this of course means that we have a beauty to reveal. This doesn’t mean just physical beauty (obviously!!!), but that is a part of it! And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found that revealing beauty isn’t wearing provocative clothing or being underweight, but rather: protecting and nurturing the beauty we’ve been given.

This doesn’t mean piling on layers of makeup or spending hours and hours at the gym. This doesn’t mean buying clothes we can’t afford. This certainly does not mean looking to other women for how we ‘should’ look. (Comparison is the devil).

This simply means taking part in the discipline that is self-care. Eating well, getting enough sleep, regular movement, moisturizing, wearing sunscreen, washing our face, stretching, etc: these are the boring, mundane things we have to do regularly (NOT every once in a while!!!) to care for the bodies we’ve been gifted.

Getting a regular haircut, an occasional manicure or facial, working with a trainer, etc. can all be SUPER helpful. However, the real work is in the day-to-day, small habits that we often overlook because they don’t promise us quick results.

Discipline has always been a struggle for me. This has affected me negatively in a myriad of ways over my life, including my appearance and feeling like my best self! I wanted to feel beautiful but I didn’t want to get up a little earlier to make time for exercise. I wanted to improve my skin but I didn’t want to make the simple change of washing my face twice a day. I wanted to have whiter teeth but I didn’t want to go through the trouble of brushing after a cup of coffee.

Now, every morning the first things I do (even before getting the babies) are: brush my teeth, wash my face, and put on sunscreen. This not only has improved my skin but also helped me feel more equipped to take on the day regardless of how tired I am. I have also been much better about exercising since having children. (Three sessions of weightlifting a week is my ‘must-have’, while one or two additional sessions of cardio are my ‘nice-to-have’). I have also made an effort to find an attractive wardrobe for every season of life (which during the childbearing years are MANY), as well as a simple strategy for managing my hair style.

I realized that these habits are actually important because they feed my energy. If I exercise regularly, if I make sleep a priority, if I take a few extra minutes to care for my skin (the body’s largest organ!!!), if I make sure I’m hydrated, if I wear clothes that actually fit me, if I eat foods that are seriously nourshing…in other words, if I approach my own maintenance with discipline, it helps me serve those I am called to serve joyfully and more efficiently.

I know self-care has a bad rep these days because it has come to virtually be the same as pampering. I know beauty feels irrelevant or maybe even incongrous with a life that is mostly comprised of cleaning up spills twenty times a day, changing an infinite number of diapers, and not going anywhere more exciting than Aldi’s or your local park.

I want to challenge this belief because what mothers do in caring for their homes and their families is truly—as C.S. Lewis coined it—the ultimate career. Its importance cannot be overstated. It is also incredibly difficult at times. Because of that, it is essential that we give ourselves what we need to show up with joy and energy. In other words, it is indispensable that we care for those of us who are sacrifcing ourselves for this sacred responsibility.

No woman wants to be a frumpy mom/housewife. This makese sense because it is at odds with our deep desire to be stewards of great beauty. However, without discipline and consistency it is possible for us to fall into this unfortunate stereotype. While I don’t think we need to vacuum our living rooms in stilettos or wear a face full of makeup to run some errands, making authentic habits of self-care part of our daily routine will help us feel more energetic and confident when we go about our many (and often grueling) tasks.

Establishing simple habits of self-care may not seem like a priority when there is a small gang of potentially recalcitrant individuals who are dependent on you in various ways. However, I challenge you to establish one or two simple habits to nurture the God-given gift of beauty you already possess and see what happens. You might be surprised by how discipline in this area can pour into your vocation in life-changing ways.

In camraderie,

Miranda Kate