How I kept my spirits up + dealt with the physical challenges during my pregnancy

I’ve joked with Stephen that if 5 kids suddenly showed up all at once at my doorstep, I don’t think I would be too fazed. It isn’t the sleepless nights, babies crying, taking care of little people all day, dealing with tantrums, constant cleanup, etc. that really gets to me too much. It’s the pregnancies.

I could spend a day going through the list of maladies that I have come to associate with pregnancy—physical and emotional—and still find more to complain about. It has absolutely caught me off guard each time how darn difficult these nine months are.

I won’t go into detail here as I’ve commented on this before, but needless to say, if you’re looking for someone to vent about the trials that accompany creating a human, hmu.

I thought it could be helpful to list things that helped me not lose my mind when I felt completely overwhelmed by what I was going through. This list is comprised of what helped me the most physically + emotionally throughout the past 7+ months.

ONE. Mindset

Although 9 months can feel like an absolute eternity at times, I knew that everything I was going through was temporary. I would intentionally focus on how amazing (if somewhat exhausting) life would be when the little baby was in my arms and I finally got to meet him/her. I planned my postpartum season to be as restful and nourishing as possible and spent time considering the meals I want to eat, books or shows I wanted to check out while nursing, and the first outings I wanted to experience post-baby.

TWO. Comfort

After my first baby was born, I invested in these Lake pajamas which were designed specifically for the nursing/postpartum season. They fit me my whole pregnancy and were such a source of comfort to me during the sleepless nights, nausea, back pain, etc.

Nothing Fits But has some lovely, soft dresses for pregnancy, PPM, and beyond. I hate spending a lot of $$ on maternity pieces but honestly, these will likely fit you throughout all of the different seasons/sizes.

Another pretty option is Hillhouse. They have a wide variety of nap dresses and sets that are also designed to accompany our bodies throughout their MANY changes.

I recognize none of these are cheap. Sometimes I will look for some options second-hand or just similar styles that are more economical. Additionally, I think even if you invest in just one of these your whole pregnancy, it will help you feel and look your best!!

THREE. Planning

We shouldn’t wish away any season of life. However, sometimes it helped me to remember that—even though I most likely will have other difficult pregnancies ahead—I will also have a 1-2 year break in between. I remember how much more energy I had when I wasn’t pregnant, I think about the clothes I will be able to wear, the exercises I want to do, the projects I want to take on, etc. I know that I will have time to recover from this long journey and that I should use that time wisely.

Consider what some of your long-term goals are and how you can at least begin making plans for taking them on after your recovery. Write it down! Then put it somewhere you won’t forget about. There is going to be a lot going on in the next few months, but that doesn’t mean your dreams outside of motherhood need to be on hold for forever!

FOUR. Entertainment

While I was in the midst of morning sickness, or dealing with pregnancy insomnia, I listened to the Harry Potter audiobooks over and over. It’s silly, but this series from my childhood was a source of distraction and comfort that helped me focus on something other than my desperation to feel better or to fall asleep. An easy, cozy read can do a lot to take off our minds from the discomfort we’re currently experiencing and switch gears for a little bit. I think audio is even nicer when you’re uber tired/feeling sick.

FIVE. SOS

This part of life is one where most of us don’t feel normal. So why pretend that life should continue as though we are not currently carrying around another person? During this time, I hired someone to clean the house, had family come and help, hired a sitter to watch Monica, and relied more on foods that were easy to assemble as opposed to made from scratch. In any case, we have to advocate for ourselves at all times—but especially during this grueling season—to get what we need.

Maybe hiring a housekeeper is not possible currently. That’s ok! Make simpler meals, (kindly) ask your husband if he can take on a few more specific tasks during this time, or see if a family member can come over with some regularity to help out! You might hear the word ‘no’, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. This is a season when asking for help is one of the greatest things you can do for you and your family.

SIX. Foster excitement.

A cute onesie, a nursing chair, or a soft dress to wear PPM, these things are tangible sources of excitement that can help us stay positive even when our bodies feel like they can’t go on another day. I’m not suggesting you empty the bank account on a shopping spree, but investing in a few things throughout your pregnancy that you are going to need anyway can work wonders for your mood and help you feel more prepared for what is coming next. I like to take time to get baby things organized while listening to a fun podcast.

SEVEN. Self-care on steroids.

When your body is going through a million different changes it’s important to be extra kind to yourself. This isn’t as easy as it sounds as during pregnancy we often have very little energy. Small things like a hand cream that smells nice, a homemade facial, a yummy smoothie, an extra long hot shower, sleeping in later than normal. . . these are all simple ways of giving our hard-working bodies a little TLC. It goes without saying that staying hydrated + eating enough are non-negotiables. (If you follow me on Insta you know I’ve learned this the hard way…).

If you have kids already, I know even something as small as a long shower can seem unattainable, much less sleeping in. However, don’t be afraid to enlist your husband, a relative, or a babysitter to help you make this happen. You’re not in this alone and your body is going through an incredible challenge, be kind to it.

EIGHT. Don’t ignore your appearance.

With pregnancy, there are two extremes that we can lean toward if we’re not careful. One is obsessing about weight gain and despairing about the changes we see happening to our bodies. The other is giving up entirely and putting zero thought or effort into how we present ourselves. I will say, during the first trimester when I’m so sick, I do fall on the wayside when it comes to my appearance. BUT once I start feeling better (even if I still don’t feel ‘normal’), I do my best to pick clothes I feel good in, wear makeup I love, and will even get my hair or nails done once or twice!

Some of you may be rolling your eyes or consider this vanity. My take on this is that my energy and cheerful disposition are some of my greatest assets/gifts to others. There’s just no way around the fact that putting effort into how I look lifts my energy and helps me be more positive. I have honestly not struggled nearly as much with self-esteem during this pregnancy as I did last time. During my first pregnancy, I didn’t want any pictures taken and felt insecure most of the time. This time around I’ve been much more excited to get ready/dressed for the day.

I think this is because this time I told myself I would take measures to feel great about myself—regardless of the size of the basketball under my shirt. Doing the things I mentioned above (haircuts, makeup, well-fitting clothes, etc.), has been such a game-changer in helping me feel beautiful. It took some trial and error with clothes especially to figure out what looked good during this season. So if you purchase a pair of maternity jeans and want to cry after trying them on—it’s normal. You’ll probably have to go through a few different styles until you find what works.

I have thought before that if I had a million dollars to funnel toward anything, it would be into making some sort of concoction that make women feel incredible during these nine months. I’m determined to work toward not just surviving pregnancy, but thriving during it. I haven’t figured it all out but these little tips are what has helped me the most so far.

In camaraderie,
— Miranda Kate